Shame on You!

If any of us have had those words spoken to us as a child; most likely we would have recoiled in horror. Our eyes downcast in a gesture of hiding, we were certain that the entire world could see the act we did to bring on such a statement.  That shame found its permanent dwelling in neon lights above our head. It would be a while before we ventured out before our accuser, hoping the lights had burnt out, or at least dimmed so as not to draw attention to ourselves. We would watch their reaction to seeing, if in fact, the shame was lifted and we could go on with our lives or if we needed to continue, half-alive for a while longer.

AppleMany women and men who are post abortive live every day of their lives with shame. They can never get away from the accuser and the “neon” light never dims because the accuser and accused are one and the same... themselves. Hidden shame is projected on all of their relationships, causing them to live in the fear that they will be “found out” and that everyone will see the neon light shining down on them.

Post abortive women and men draw a connection to this shame even when there is no connection to be made. One woman I know expressed this in a recent trip to a cemetery that has a tomb for the unborn. “I wanted to pray before the tomb but it is right near the cemetery office. I just could not bring myself to let anyone see me there.” When I asked her if she thought everyone who prayed before that tomb was post abortive, that in fact, many people who are not probably stop to say a prayer, she expressed that she had never thought of that. For her, it was a sure admittance of the death of her unborn child, the neon light pointing to her shame.